I mentioned in my first post back at the start of the month that the last 18 months have been difficult for me and it got to the stage where I had to shift my focus solely on to me. I sadly lost a close friend in 2015 followed by three more family members/friends over the following 18 months. This really shook me and nevertheless I threw myself in to work which ended up going wrong and also blocked out the people who I cared about the most. I noticed that I wasn’t quite feeling myself but until I reflected I hadn’t realised how not ok I was.
Losing someone is always difficult and it does not get easier over time or the more it happens. I realised back in early 2016 that I was worried all the time, feeling sad and not sleeping and after being forced in to changing jobs I just wasn’t OK. I spoke to my partner about things which he was fantastic about but sometimes the best thing to do is to talk to someone who is not in the situation with you as they can help you see things in a different way to those who are closest to you. This was one of the hardest steps for me to take. I took a year to readjust and slowly but surely I felt happier and more like I was ready to tackle the world again.
Towards the end of 2016 I could start to think about my plans moving forward and how I could make 2017 the time to start the changes that are needed. I feel much more positive about life and even though there are days that are hard still, I know I will be ok and I am going to achieve the dreams that I have.
The biggest lesson I learnt through all of this is that it is ok not to be ok! I really pushed back on this idea at first and I would hold in the tears and sadness but one thing to ask yourself is how can you heal if you do not let your body feel what it needs to?
I hope that this helps someone out there and please do feel free to share your stories below 🙂